Bleh. Strange day. So tired. I took one of those sunset-spanning three hour naps when I got home and woke up feeling just as tired.
I think I have a lesson to plan for my Math 100 classes tomorrow and some tests to grade. My mind is a blank and my motivation is zero.
A couple of things - apparently I’ve spent long enough being in charge of my mentor teacher’s classroom that my (her) students are starting to get curious about me. There was a great deal more one on one interaction today. They became very inquisitive all the sudden, it was like someone had hit a switch.
Student #1: Miss, will you miss us after you leave in December?
Me: Yes.
Student #2: Wait, you’re only here until December??
Me: Yes, and then I graduate from my teacher training program and I’m applying for a job as a math teacher here starting in January.
Then there was a general hue and cry of mixed reviews: “NOOOOO!!! Stop following me!” “You should teach science, not math.” “What math will you teach?” “You should teach algebra.” “No, you should teach algebra 2 so you can teach me."
Other questions I received throughout the day:
"Miss, what’s your favorite kind of car?”
“Miss, how come you never wear normal shoes?"
"Miss, what are you doing for Halloween?”
I just thought it was interesting how they all suddenly decided to be interested on the same day. I of course got my share of snarky responses, too…mostly connected to the fact that we have assigned seating now and they desperately want to go back to choosing their own seats.
Me: Cells are the smallest unit of life, right?
Student who kept saying “NO” or “WRONG” after all of my sentences: WRONG.
Me: If you’re going to be contumacious, you might as well say something useful.
Student: NO.
Me, to 4th period: Start this assignment now, whatever you don’t finish will be due on Friday. And those of you who are sitting there with blank worksheets in front of you not doing anything now are also the ones who are likely to not complete it as homework.
Student #4: You want to bet, miss?
Me: No. You’re the one who’s gambling on your future.
The constant effort to stay on my toes for these exchanges and respond productively (sometimes I do well, sometimes not so well) is a substantial aspect of what wears me out about teaching. It’s like this state of constant vigilance where someone, anyone could attack or derail at any time.
8th period thought they were unbelievably clever by sneaking back to sit with their friends after they presented their small group projects even though I specifically asked them to stay with their groups. It’s like, did you think I wouldn’t notice? Or is it just ok to deliberately contradict me right in front of my face?
Me, to a table of girls who were not supposed to be sitting together: So, I see that you moved your seats even though I just asked you not to. I’m feeling a little disrespected, here.
Girls: No! Miss, we love you!
Me: Well thank you, but love is different than respect. Do you respect me?
Girls: *no answer*
The next student who I confronted about her unauthorized relocation tried to blame it on me and give me a hard time for not giving her a pencil. She’s the one in the last period of the day without a damn pencil. WTF.
Third time worked out better. I had a conversation with a young man about why he’d moved when I’d asked him not to, and he replied that he felt like he worked better in his new spot. I told him that we’d use this class to see how it went. I checked in with him at the end of class and asked him how much work he’d gotten done. He showed me and instead of commenting, I suggested that he think about it and decide where he felt like he got more work done. He thanked me (sounding surprised) for giving him an option.
I was pleased. I’ve been trying to get through to this particular student for a while now with no success. Apparently I opened the door by allowing him to make and take responsibility for his own decisions, by treating him like an adult instead of like a prisoner. The fact that he responded so well serves as a powerful reminder to me of how important it is to trust students enough to let them take some responsibility for themselves.
How are these little f*ckers going to learn how to be successful adults if they’re ordered about all the time and never allowed to practice making effective decisions in a safe environment?
It’s important to remember the positives. I also enjoyed watching my students discover today that I don’t make them take notes, when I can avoid it.
Student #5: Miss, what are we doing today?
Me: We’re going to go over the cell parts and the differences between prokaryotes and eukaryotes.
Student #5: *face falls* Oh, so…notes?
Me: No! I don’t do notes! They’re boring and you guys don’t like them either!
Student #5: *brightens visibly* Awesome
Mrr. Don’t forget to breathe. Or eat well, or sleep well, or exercise. When one thing drops, the hand is open, the body goes slack, more will drop. I am capable of succeeding within my chosen realm.