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thelonereligiouseducator
One of the risks of being quiet is that the other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You’re bored. You’re depressed. You’re shy. You’re stuck up. You’re judgmental. When others can’t read us, they write their own story—not always one we choose or that’s true to who we are.

Sophia Dembling’s The Introvert’s Way (via catsgomao)

This is good to keep in mind. We do seem to have this notion, in our society, that if someone is quiet, something is wrong, and we tend to jump to conclusions.

Source: facebook.com introversion

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How many posts will it take to get me through this Monday?

My Mondays are long. Generally I arrive at the high school (30 minutes from my small town home) between 7:45 and 8:30 A.M. Then I am a student teacher for three 100 minute periods of freshman biology, but I’ve been in charge for weeks now, writing and implementing my own lesson plans and assessments. Most of the time my mentor teacher is out of the room completely. 

Then, after school ends at 3, I get in my car and drive for an hour in the opposite direction, past my house, to cover the 50 miles to the community college where I teach/tutor three days a week. Sometimes I squeeze in a grocery run between jobs, if I have time. Seems like we always need more food after the weekend, so if I don’t go between 4 and 5, I wind up going after my tutoring shift. 

I’m a math tutor at the college from 5 to 9 P.M. It’s not very strenuous and often no one appears to ask for help, so I’ll do grading or lesson planning for the next day. It’s also good introverted time. But it makes for a long night, sitting all alone in an empty room on a dark, deserted campus. Kind of creepy. 

When I walk to my car at 9, I always have my keys clutched in one hand and my cell phone, set to dial security, in the other. Invariably I think about rape culture. Thanks, Tumblr. 

Sometimes I get to go home. Other times I have to go to the Walmart for cheap food. Then, with my 30 minute drive home, I usually make it around 10 PM. My partner waits to cook dinner until I arrive, even though that usually means that he’s quite hungry during regular dinner hours. He’s very sweet and supportive. 

The best part of my day is coming home to Ben and the dogs. With all my odd jobs and odd hours, I wind up being gone more than I would if I had a single full time job. *fingers crossed* 

This morning I got a little discouraged because my 4th period class was nasty and argumentative and resistant, as they can sometimes be. I’ve stopped taking it personally so much, but it’s still kind of a bummer when you’re trying hard to be someone’s ally and offer them opportunities and assistance and support and they treat you like you’re trying to torture them. 

I have to remember that they have a bunch of other cognitive and affective stuff going on that truly has nothing to do with me or Biology class and keep things in perspective.

at least I was getting paid this morning? student teaching reflections on student interaction my 15 hour Monday

First Substitute Teaching Experience

I survived my morning as a sub! All I had to do was track down two students who were hanging out in the hallway and bring them back to class, take a composition notebook from a boy who was using it to hit another (male) student, and keep two frequently troublesome students after class for repeatedly interrupting in a disrespectful fashion while I was talking to the class.

Now I get a nice long lunch because 5th period comes before lunch and it’s my mentor teacher’s collaboration period. Whew. 

substitute teacher oh high school classroom management

Apparently I can only enable replies if my subject is in the form of a question?

I finally finished grading the cell city projects I assigned back in the end of October, huzzah! 

The results were interesting. A lot of students opted out of the writing portion, which ended up being equally weighted to the poster in the grading process - 40% of the project. The highest grade that a group could attain without turning in an explanation sheet is 30/50…ouch. 

I wondered if I hadn’t done an effective job of making the expectations clear, but I mentioned the explanation sheet at least 4 times in front of the class, handed out two separate copies of the rubric I’d be using on two separate days and went over it, reminded individual groups about it as they worked, and asked several times for it to be turned in along with presentations. So I don’t really know what more I ought to have done. It’s kind of on them. 

Many of them don’t seem to have mastered the concept that the degree of accuracy and effort contribute more to their grades than just the percentage or appearance of completion. They get confused. “Miss, why do I have a D in this class? I’ve turned in all the work.” Yes, maybe, but what are your quiz scores like? How much work did you put into your big projects? Did you turn in your lab notebook? All those bellwork assignments that you scored 3/6 on add up. 

And then they try to put it on the teacher, like it’s my fault that their grades are low because of assignments that I haven’t entered yet. Curiouser and curiouser. 

The other interesting thing I noticed is that some of my lower-achieving students created a very aesthetically pleasing, detail oriented, colorful final product, while some of my stronger students opted for more abstract, less detailed models that showed structure but didn’t go in much for creative visuals. Perhaps some of the folks who don’t feel comfortable writing or answering questions found their niche in drawing/coloring and grabbed the opportunity to contribute constructively. 

In other news, today I am not a student teacher but an official substitute while my mentor teacher is running a workshop. She’s still on campus - in the library - but I’m on my own and I’m getting paid and everything so, wish me luck. 

adventures of a substitute teacher reflections on grading

Why do they hate it so?

The 9th graders are reading and annotating an article on osmosis through membranes set up where rivers meet the sea as a sustainable energy resource in preparation for writing a summary. 

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/energy/2013/01/130107-osmotic-energy-norway/

They hate it SO MUCH. It’s quite the battle. But the standardized tests require reading and writing in Science, and so do many careers so I’m like….Whatever.

science literacy fighting the good fight

Thoughts on Grading

I hate grading. I’m new enough to teaching that I tend to forget that whatever I assign, I have to grade. Last night, part of my brain was engaged in grading bell work and projects, and part of it was engaged in thinking of ways to make grading more efficient or eliminate it altogether. 

As far as the bellwork goes, I’d like to do a self grade or a swap and grade as soon as they’re finished. That way all I’ll have to do is record the scores. It won’t take much class time if I train them to do it quickly. Also it has the educational benefit of getting the correct answers in students’ heads immediately after they’re wondering what the answer is instead of handing them back later when they’ve already become irrelevant. 

As far as the cell city project posters and explanation sheets are concerned…it’s gonna take a chunk of time. That’s how projects are. But I should have at least clipped the rubrics and the explanation sheets to the posters AS I received them after presentations instead of turning the whole thing into a jumbled heap that I had to spend an hour sorting through last night. Live and learn, right?

The freshman are looking at plant and animal cells under the microscopes today. Cool stuff!

thoughts on grading teacher efficiency for my sanity

Terminal Introversion?

Bleh. Strange day. So tired. I took one of those sunset-spanning three hour naps when I got home and woke up feeling just as tired. 

I think I have a lesson to plan for my Math 100 classes tomorrow and some tests to grade. My mind is a blank and my motivation is zero. 

A couple of things - apparently I’ve spent long enough being in charge of my mentor teacher’s classroom that my (her) students are starting to get curious about me. There was a great deal more one on one interaction today. They became very inquisitive all the sudden, it was like someone had hit a switch. 

Student #1: Miss, will you miss us after you leave in December?

Me: Yes.

Student #2: Wait, you’re only here until December??

Me: Yes, and then I graduate from my teacher training program and I’m applying for a job as a math teacher here starting in January. 

Then there was a general hue and cry of mixed reviews: “NOOOOO!!! Stop following me!” “You should teach science, not math.” “What math will you teach?” “You should teach algebra.” “No, you should teach algebra 2 so you can teach me." 

Other questions I received throughout the day:

"Miss, what’s your favorite kind of car?”

“Miss, how come you never wear normal shoes?" 

"Miss, what are you doing for Halloween?”

I just thought it was interesting how they all suddenly decided to be interested on the same day. I of course got my share of snarky responses, too…mostly connected to the fact that we have assigned seating now and they desperately want to go back to choosing their own seats. 

Me: Cells are the smallest unit of life, right?

Student who kept saying “NO” or “WRONG” after all of my sentences: WRONG. 

Me: If you’re going to be contumacious, you might as well say something useful.

Student: NO. 

Me, to 4th period: Start this assignment now, whatever you don’t finish will be due on Friday. And those of you who are sitting there with blank worksheets in front of you not doing anything now are also the ones who are likely to not complete it as homework.

Student #4: You want to bet, miss?

Me: No. You’re the one who’s gambling on your future. 

The constant effort to stay on my toes for these exchanges and respond productively (sometimes I do well, sometimes not so well) is a substantial aspect of what wears me out about teaching. It’s like this state of constant vigilance where someone, anyone could attack or derail at any time. 

8th period thought they were unbelievably clever by sneaking back to sit with their friends after they presented their small group projects even though I specifically asked them to stay with their groups. It’s like, did you think I wouldn’t notice? Or is it just ok to deliberately contradict me right in front of my face?

Me, to a table of girls who were not supposed to be sitting together: So, I see that you moved your seats even though I just asked you not to. I’m feeling a little disrespected, here.

Girls: No! Miss, we love you! 

Me: Well thank you, but love is different than respect. Do you respect me?

Girls: *no answer* 

The next student who I confronted about her unauthorized relocation tried to blame it on me and give me a hard time for not giving her a pencil. She’s the one in the last period of the day without a damn pencil. WTF. 

Third time worked out better. I had a conversation with a young man about why he’d moved when I’d asked him not to, and he replied that he felt like he worked better in his new spot. I told him that we’d use this class to see how it went. I checked in with him at the end of class and asked him how much work he’d gotten done. He showed me and instead of commenting, I suggested that he think about it and decide where he felt like he got more work done. He thanked me (sounding surprised) for giving him an option. 

I was pleased. I’ve been trying to get through to this particular student for a while now with no success. Apparently I opened the door by allowing him to make and take responsibility for his own decisions, by treating him like an adult instead of like a prisoner. The fact that he responded so well serves as a powerful reminder to me of how important it is to trust students enough to let them take some responsibility for themselves.

How are these little f*ckers going to learn how to be successful adults if they’re ordered about all the time and never allowed to practice making effective decisions in a safe environment? 

It’s important to remember the positives. I also enjoyed watching my students discover today that I don’t make them take notes, when I can avoid it. 

Student #5: Miss, what are we doing today?

Me: We’re going to go over the cell parts and the differences between prokaryotes and eukaryotes.

Student #5: *face falls* Oh, so…notes?

Me: No! I don’t do notes! They’re boring and you guys don’t like them either! 

Student #5: *brightens visibly* Awesome

Mrr. Don’t forget to breathe. Or eat well, or sleep well, or exercise. When one thing drops, the hand is open, the body goes slack, more will drop. I am capable of succeeding within my chosen realm. 

rambling tired post hiding in my office

Sort of annoyed

Last night I stayed up until 1 talking to a close college friend who’s slowly dying of kidney failure at the ripe old age of 27. 

Was woken up by a cold dog nose just before 6. 

This morning on the way to work, I was the first caller for the free concert tickets from the radio station, and my phone dropped the call right before I could speak. 

At the high school today. I guess I didn’t plan enough to keep 4th period structured enough and they got bored and mouthy and lazy and resistant. I have plans to modify the lesson for 6th and 8th period, but I’m discouraged and it feels like I have a very long afternoon ahead of me. 

Especially because 6th period is populated by a frankly excessive number of “characters” and 8th period has no idea how to shut up, it’s not even in their vocabulary. 

Most of my student teaching days have been going great, but today I’m having one of those inevitable “do I really want to do this?” experiences.

little adolescent fuckers introverted lunch hiding in the conference room
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